[:en]Ephemeral[:]

[:en]I don’t want this anymore.

I can’t do this again.

She never wanted this day to come again. It always happens on this day, whatever the circumstance may be. Life has a cruel sense of humour and she was sick and tired of losing him every single time. The pain never goes away.

You know those sappy forbidden love stories? Well, this was exactly one of those. It began a long time ago, way back in 321 AD. They were from two opposing tribes. They fell in love just like Romeo and Juliet but, she wished they had died at the end instead.

They were captured and sent to trial. Instead of  given death sentence, they were cursed – where one has to die and the other  one is given eternal life. The sickest part of it was that he’ll always manage to die on his 27^th birthday, and get reborn without a single memory of her. Their destiny is intertwined, but somehow their tribes managed to make it a living nightmare for her.

She will live forever, while he would have to die at the age of 27. All of her lifetime, they will meet no matter what because they are destined for each other. He, however, will never remember her from her past lifetimes. They will still fall in love, have a wonderful life together and die on her 27th year, leaving her behind to wait for another 21 years to meet him again.

It has always been like that ever since he first died.

She promised him herself to never tell him. It was for the best.

She made that promise to herself during the twelfth cycle, or was it the fifteenth? She chuckled remembering the awful scarf he wore during that lifetime. It was yellow, his favourite colour. It never matched any of his clothing, but he still insisted on wearing it

She could still remember the way he looked, his green eyes hiding behind those glasses, his hand running through his messy black hair. They were under the stars, their feet barefoot on the grass. She was teaching him how to dance. He was horrible at it. They ended up falling multiple of times, until they decided to just stay that way. She rested her head on his shoulder, listening to his ideas for new and crazy inventions. . He was always a bit out of his time back then.

She didn’t want this to end. She couldn’t tell him about the curse. She wanted him to live his life without worrying about dying on his 27^th.

She glanced over at the shelf filled with photo albums at the corner. There were about 13 of them, each of them less worn than the others, except for the first 3, which she had replaced as they were practically falling apart. They’ve all been scanned on a computer, but she liked it more.

The first picture she saw was of him grinning under a sugar maple tree, the wind flowing through his hair. This time, he had bright blue eyes, fiery red hair, and freckles all around his face. She tried using a camera for the first time that evening. She could remember how she would have to keep asking him to not move, which ended in him grinning for a solid 15 minutes. After he was finished, he proposed to her on one knee.

She remembered the tears running down her face when he told her that they could get married a week after his birthday.

She still said yes, though.

She gazed at the other page and…

A boy with light blonde hair neatly slicked back, his pale complexion contrasting his bright blue eyes, was staring at her direction. His lips curled into a slight smile.

She pictured the night she met him, the way he half-glared at her, ever wary of people, sentences short and to the point. She couldn’t see any of his past lives in him, especially the fact that he was a dancer.

It took him a few years to open up to her, and when he did, it was so much more rewarding. Eventually, she did see it, the steady determination, and that wonder in his eyes when he smiled.

She tried to block out the image of how he crumbled away, so quickly after just a few months before the day he died. He couldn’t even walk for the last two months. The boy, who danced like he breathed, like he couldn’t live without it, was trapped in a wheelchair for months.

After him, she decided that she couldn’t do it any longer.

After a few minutes staring at old photos, she heard a knock at the door. She closed the album and put it neatly back on the shelf.

It’s him, isn’t it?

Every step she took feels like there’s a dead weight slowing her down, telling her to stop what she was about to do, but there’s no going back. If you love someone, you need to learn when to let go.

She needs to let him go.

The mere thought of watching him love someone else kills her. Why oh why does it have to end this way?

Her hand reached for the knob, pausing for a brief moment. In that short while, several lifetimes together flashed before her eyes. How beautiful it was. Now, she was giving it all up. She needs to let him go. Slowly, she turned the knob and opened the door and there he was, as a tall boy with chiselled features, dark hair, and bright grey eyes. The same spark in his eyes like all his past lives. He was wearing a yellow hoodie. She felt her lips curl into a soft smile.

“Oh, thank God.” He sighed in relief. “Really sorry. I’m new here. I just moved a few days ago.” He pointed at the door across the hall. “The plugs in my room don’t work and my phone ran out of battery. Can I borrow your phone for a sec?”

She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

She felt her heart breaking into a million pieces.

Push him away. Make sure he never falls in love with you this time.

“It’ll only take a minute and,-“

“Sorry. Can’t help you. Bye.” She took a step back and shut the door, leaving him alone outside.

For some reasons, inside she heard something like a thread being cut inside her head. She wanted to run to him, get him back, but instead, she didn’t. She needed to let him go.

It was the right thing to do, wasn’t it?

by Ramadhania Jasmine K. P. (Grade 8)[:]